apparently the secret to your success is patron
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
