He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
