you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
My life is pants optional.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
