her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
soo... how was my night?
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