she was so not down for the gang bang
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
