I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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