if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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