i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
