We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Randomize
