1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
