If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
