I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
wow bdsm is so cute
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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