it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
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