Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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