rhymes with "ouble enetration"
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize