Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
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