I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
