She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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