Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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