My brain says no but my pants say off.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
