My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Randomize
