And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
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