I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
