Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
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