4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
