You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
