Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
Only a mothe r could love this liver
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
