is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize
