puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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