im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
I fill condoms, not promises.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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