Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
This couple is walking their pig around campus
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
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