my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
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