he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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