Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
