last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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