when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize