i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
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