Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
