I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
