people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
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