I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
