Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
