DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
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