dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
