You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Randomize
