Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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