Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Randomize
