I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
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