two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Randomize
