Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
My vagina is officially offended.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
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