hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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