i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
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