I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
