I hate your face
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize