playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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