I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
