she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Less talking, more tequila
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
