It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
