I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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