Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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