im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
