wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
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