so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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