Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
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