ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
