And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Randomize
