i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
