brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize